Positivity Is A Must

Okay y’all. Me writing about “positivity” is probably one of the most hypocritical things I have ever done. In general, especially lately, I am just a very straight to the point and negative person. But, last night, I had an epiphany. The past few months I have been over the top stressed, exhausted, and honestly have hated my life. Well, last night it hit me. I was asking myself why I felt that way, and I realized that my attitude and negativity lately is MY own reaction to things happening in my life. Whether it has directly or indirectly affected me, I react negatively.

This is so horrible. Y’all, I used to be the gal that was so happy and bubbly people hated me! Haha. No joke. So the question is, how can I work on this and become less of a grumpis. Yes, a grumpis. I used that word. So what I realized during my epiphany is that I can only change how I react to Life, not control life itself. Life is always going to happen. I can’t stop it. I can’t control it. All I can do is accept what is and improve how I handle life!

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

God has blessed my with life. He blessed me with a beautiful life, in fact. I have a home. I have a family who loves me and friends who are always there for me. God has given me the tools to get through life. What I do and how I react is totally up to me. I have lost sight of this, but I am forever grateful for what I have been given.

LIVE IN THE MOMENT

One of my biggest faults right here. Y’all, way too often I am jumping ten steps ahead while everyone else is at the starting line. It’s just how my brain works. It plots out every possible scenario when something happens. Sometimes this is super helpful, like when I am working, or looking at our budgets, things like that, but it’s not always so wonderful. I need to remember to live in each moment. I should stop and look around, appreciate the beauty in the world, and appreciate every breath I take. I’m so busy planning my life, it’s literally happening without me.

CONQUER EVERYTHING

Life gets hard for everyone. Sometimes I literally think bad things only happen to myself, which is awful, but sometimes I just want to scream, “how can so many bad things happen to one person?” I felt this way for a very long time and then I realized that God has a plan. Everything that happens is specifically chosen for us; every fall, every lost job, every flat tire, every single thing happens for a reason. We don’t always understand that reason, but I think having the mindset that we are strong enough to get through whatever is going on, that He believes in us, we can conquer anything put in front of us.

GET BACK TO DOING WHAT WE LOVE

Life gets busy. Life gets messy. We stop seeing people we care about. We quit building our dreams. We get so tired trying to get through the day-to-day life that we stop doing what we love. I read a quote the other day that said, “Don’t work 8 hours a day for someone else and then go home and not work on your own dreams. You’re not tired. You’re uninspired.” That one really hit home for me. I get so irritated during my day, I honestly quit doing anything that made me happy. What I realized is that I need to keep doing the things I love, and the things that make me happy, and then other aspects in my life might not seem so bad.

Obviously this is my own experience on how I feel about things, but hopefully it helps and applies to some of y’all as well. until next time!

 

Sincerely, Toni

 

 

 

Healthy Relationships

I’m no relationship expert by any means, but I have figured out a thing or two over the years. I don’t want to imply my relationship is perfect because it’s not. I do, however, think I am involved in a healthy, happy, and bless relationship. Holiday Party 2018

I think we get to a point in our lives where we are comfortable, little things start slipping, we lose tough with our feelings, and why we started loving the person we are with. So, y’all, to keep things happy and healthy, here is what works for us!

  1. We are friends. Sounds silly, right? Y’all, this is sooooo important. People forget that their significant other started as a friend. We lose sight of the fact that we enjoyed being around this person because they made us laugh. They were there when we needed a shoulder. We just enjoyed their company and then somewhere down the line we fell in love with them. We put so much pressure on the romance of it all, we forget why we are in this to begin with! Yes, Matthew and I share romantic dates and all that mush, but what I love the most is I know I have a friend for life.
  2. Share responsibilities! Whether you both work, one works and one stays home, whatever. Share the responsibilities that come with living together. Matthew and I both work full time. A lot of the time neither of us want to do anything after work, but we manage. We take turns cooking dinner, doing dishes, and we clean the house together. Granted, there are individual things we both do that the other doesn’t. I DO NOT mow the lawn. I wouldn’t know how to even if I tried. I do the laundry. I also literally scrub everything with Magic Erasers. They are the best. What I am getting at though is that you don’t want everything to be put on one person. Share the responsibilities and then we don’t feel so burnt out that we can’t focus on the relationship.
  3. This one seems like, “duh,” but remember to share a meal together. Our lives are busy. I can’t imagine people who have families, kids and stuff to add into the mix. Matthew and I make sure we sit down at least once a week and have dinner together, watch a movie, and relax together. Most nights, however, one of us will cook, but then we kind of go separate ways and do our own thing. This is totally okay. We have a good balance with this. Sometimes we need to set aside electronics, phones, games, whatever is controlling our lives at that time, and simply bond. Matthew and I are big on current events and politics, so that is often  what our dinner night converstations are.
  4. Share a hobby. This can be difficult sometimes. We generally attract people opposite of our personalities, so finding common ground in the hobby department can be a struggle. Matthew and I share a love for gardening. It’s unfortunate we cannot do this all year! Anyway, we both love seeing the results of hard work, and there is something oddly satisfying about pulling weeds from your garden! This is something we look forward to doing every year. On a side note, we also love watching reality tv shows and yelling at the people on it, as if we know what we are talking about! 😉 Lake of the Ozak 2017
  5. Give eachother space. This can get hard when you live together obviously, but you can make it work. Even if Matthew and I are both sitting in the living room, a lot of the time we are doing two different things. For instance, right now, I am blogging and he is playing some awful computer game called “Everquest.” We just sit, doing our own thing with the tv playing in the background. We also make sure to spend time with friends. Yes, we share friends, but then we also have separate friends. This is super important! Often, after spending too much time with someone, we tend to get annoyed, there’s tension, and every little thing gets on your nerves. So, space is super important!

So, like I said, I’m no expert, but this is what works for Matthew and I! Until next time, y’all!

Sincerely, Toni

5 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Grew Up

Hindsight is 20/20 they say. Well isn’t that the darn truth. Do y’all ever have those days where you just sit and think “life was way easier when I was a kid?” Let me tell ya, I’m having one of those days as I write this. I had a great childhood. I had great friends, I had a good home, I was involved, and I didn’t have a darn worry in the world.

I remember when I was younger I couldn’t wait to grow up. It all just seemed so glamorous to me at the time. I always saw such strong, independent women grabbing their coffee and going off to work. I’m not sure why I was so in love with the idea of growing up and going to work, but it seemed like the perfect life; supporting myself, growing as a person, and contributing to society.

Well, I was in for a rude awakening. Haha. No joke. I wish I would have known what it was really like, and that everything I saw was just one side to someone’s life. So…here are five things I wish I had known before I grew up.

1. How Much I Would Miss Naptime

Y’all, some days I’ll just be sitting at my desk, thinking about ALLLL those naps I never wanted to take as a child. What on earth was wrong with me?! I must have been crazy or something. I never understood how important sleep was until I was an adult, unable to take a nap in the middle of my day. How awful is that?! So, I would like to go ahead and cash in on those naps I never actually took…who do I bring this issue up to? ADULTS NEED NAPS TOO!

2. Woke Is Not All That Wonderful

I couldn’t wait to work! No joke! I was inspired by people who went to work and took care of their families. Some people made it look so easy, y’all. I have no idea how, but they did. Now I’m grown up, go to work everyday, and by the time I get home I just want to go to bed. I’m tired, stressed, annoyed, and I instantly dread having to go back the next day. So not what I had in mind as a child.

3. Why Didn’t Anyone Explain Taxes To Us

Holy moly, y’all. So taxes are probably one of the worst things, like, ever! I can barely fill out my W2 correctly without asking questions, but taxes, that’s a whole different ballgame. For the last three years I have filed my taxes myself…well, with the help of TurboTax anyway. I was spending $200 plus to have H&R Block file my taxes when I finally decided this was something I needed to try to do myself. Oh em geeeeee. It was rough. No one explained this to me! Like, why on earth do I need to learn Geometry and not taxes?! At least I would use the knowledge on a yearly basis had we been taught! Anyway, TurboTax has been great!

4. Metabolism….Where Did That Go

Y’all, I seriously used to be able to eat a bag of Doritos with no regret. If I eat one chip today, I gain 80 pounds! That’s an exaggeration, but I know y’all know what I mean. Seriously, what is up with our metabolism. It’s just one more things that makes adulthood super real, and it’s horrible. Some days I just want to binge watch The Vampire Diaries and eat some food. It happens, don’t lie. I feel like I would have cherished my treats a little more back in the day had someone told me that I would hate myself every time I ate a pint of Mint Chocolate Cookie from my guys Ben and Jerry!

5. Heartbreak

This is a tough one. It’s not just heartbreak from lost relationships. It’s heartbreak from losing a family member or a friend. It could be heartbreak from not getting a job you really wanted or simply not doing our best on something. Heartbreak comes in so many forms that I don’t think someone could have warned me about it all if they tried. I feel like I have had more heartbreak in my life than one individual could possibly need. But then again, some of y’all probably feel the same way.

Parents want to keep their children young and innocent, and maybe that is why they don’t teach us some of these things when we are young. Some of these things we just need to experience for ourselves. It all helps us grow and become stronger. I understand that now. Don’t get my wrong, I still want to be a princess and I want my darn naps…

Until next time, y’all!

Sincerely, Toni